There is a stigma around no. No is not a bad word. It is not a selfish word. It is a word that helps us create our ideal life. Without it, we are miserable.
Every Sunday, I sit down to look at my week ahead with one question in mind. “What can I remove?” The idea behind this is to stop doing things that are not essential. If the plans for a day are not necessary, they need to go.
We have limited hours in each day, so we need to make the best of it.
This involves saying no – a lot.
Too often, we want to please others before ourselves. We do no want to disappoint. But, if we are not happy, we will never be at our best. I know for me, to be working at my full capacity I need to focus on only the crucial tasks of the day. If I am worried or upset about something I have to do, I will not have the energy to finish everything in front of me.
“But, I can’t say no to my boss!” is what you may be thinking. And guess what, you’re right. But, also wrong. There is one important caveat to establish before you can say no properly – what is my motivation?
By creating parameters to live inside, you set the life you want to live. You know your purpose. Right now, my primary motivation is to have the business in the best shape possible to walk away next month. Every decision I make has to compliment this motivation. It means I have to say no to my mother when she invites us over. I have to say no to planning more meetups of the Winnipeg minimalist group. Also, I have to say no to Warcraft.
As I decrease my responsibilities each day, I have found the parts of my life I appreciate more. I’ve learned that minor deprivation is a good thing. I have seen this through Lent and with the Warcraft project. These removals help me identify crutches I have in my life. By saying no more often, I have come to know my true self. Now, when I am involved in an activity, I am fully engaged. My head is clear.
So, I ask – What are you willing to say “no” to?